ugly people sure do ruin things
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
