i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Randomize