bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
