there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Dear god my vagina.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
