I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
