Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
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I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
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I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter