Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.