Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
