Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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