I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
zippers are such a cool invention
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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