I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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