I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
