Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
