Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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