No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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