Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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