i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
