party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
