I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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