Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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