I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
