he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
