but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize