I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
