Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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