Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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