she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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