just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
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He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
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Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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