Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
