it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
