Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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