Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
North Korea, Best Korea!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
