Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
