your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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