i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
