he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
