come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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