I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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