I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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