Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
