He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
