No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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