so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
