You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
This girl is more easily done than said...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize