Whod you bang
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Tell her she can't have a vagina
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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