Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
