Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
