That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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