I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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