Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them

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(814): I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them http://tfl.nu/cf2l

Replies (12) Good night (806) Bad night (3588)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Want any specific kind of beer?

(623): View more from Arizona

Yeah. Alcohol flavor.

(701): View more from North Dakota

Got it. Anything but Miller.

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(701): Want any specific kind of beer? (623): Yeah. Alcohol flavor. (701): Got it. Anything but Miller. http://tfl.nu/wg65

Replies (39) Good night (7301) Bad night (1055)
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(214): View more from Texas

I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.

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(214): I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed. http://tfl.nu/5k49

Replies (20) Good night (6927) Bad night (1359)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?

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(419): Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat? http://tfl.nu/dmug

Replies (5) Good night (3612) Bad night (1046)
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(802): View more from Vermont

he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...

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(802): he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes... http://tfl.nu/9zzk

Replies (70) Good night (1361) Bad night (11479)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent

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(608): I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent http://tfl.nu/fgks

Replies (24) Good night (4220) Bad night (984)
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(206): View more from Washington

No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE

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(206): No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE http://tfl.nu/0vv1

Replies (71) Good night (5756) Bad night (1387)
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(313): View more from Michigan

hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico

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(313): hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico http://tfl.nu/p58l

Replies (28) Good night (3631) Bad night (1085)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.

(1+44): View more from

I regret nothing

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(+44): you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop. (1+44): I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/8vxi

Replies (3) Good night (2968) Bad night (1478)
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(813): View more from Florida

Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.

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(813): Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant. http://tfl.nu/yfmm

Replies (7) Good night (1421) Bad night (906)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.

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(720): You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck. http://tfl.nu/hy5d

Replies (3) Good night (1838) Bad night (686)
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(419): View more from Ohio

How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?

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(419): How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter? http://tfl.nu/8q8x

Replies (4) Good night (693) Bad night (1012)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?

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(412): Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am? http://tfl.nu/j782

Replies (7) Good night (1796) Bad night (669)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on

(226): View more from Ontario

Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see

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(519): I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on (226): Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see http://tfl.nu/q9aq

Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (413)
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(716): View more from New York

Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"

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(716): Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins" http://tfl.nu/papm

Replies (5) Good night (660) Bad night (398)

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