Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole

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  (615): my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole http://tfl.nu/xvf4
  Replies (36) Good night (1197) Bad night (1668)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.

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  (269): bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile. http://tfl.nu/sd6y
  Replies (2) Good night (1215) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.

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  (206): This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it. http://tfl.nu/dmrx
  Replies (13) Good night (2000) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste

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  (484): im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste http://tfl.nu/zz8f
  Replies (54) Good night (1055) Bad night (3408)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.

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  (515): She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself. http://tfl.nu/imt6
  Replies (8) Good night (4738) Bad night (1455)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him

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  (412): He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him http://tfl.nu/4xvd
  Replies (13) Good night (4117) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.

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  (323): Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy. http://tfl.nu/58l0
  Replies (6) Good night (3654) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.

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  (860): It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life. http://tfl.nu/wu6z
  Replies (7) Good night (3033) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?

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  (802): Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin? http://tfl.nu/zb3y
  Replies (20) Good night (3162) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.

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  (540): I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex. http://tfl.nu/djdz
  Replies (5) Good night (1509) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak. 

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  (206): There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.  http://tfl.nu/3ssu
  Replies (3) Good night (1748) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'

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  (+61): it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride' http://tfl.nu/25m4
  Replies (4) Good night (1504) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.

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  (985): Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers. (504): This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot. http://tfl.nu/gotr
  Replies (2) Good night (1006) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.

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  (908): You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out. http://tfl.nu/tk4x
  Replies (4) Good night (1226) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.

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  (636): I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious. http://tfl.nu/gqc7
  Replies (2) Good night (397) Bad night (188)

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