he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
