come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
