i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
