I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
