My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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