Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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