Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
