Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The beer is more important than you right now.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just had sex on a roof
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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