hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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