It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
