How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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