You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
